CALLNG THE COMPANY

If anyone was to look back at what happened to the American economy from the year 2020, they will no doubt immediately realize that the principal problem with sales in this country was caused by companies who were not really wanting to sell anything to you. While that may seem contradictory, think about it: when was the last time you ever called a major company to buy a product and actually got to talk to a real person who really wanted to sell you something at all?

More often than not don't you get the feeling that if you do manage to actually talk to a real human being , they act more like you are interrupting them, than a person who actually might be helping to pay their saleries ?
( I wrote this 13 years ago and it actually seems to have gotton worse , despite millions of dollers in Customer Service programs , most of us are learning to accept poor service and a persistant drumbeat of " its not my department " )

So now I make the call , it went something like this: Ring Ring Ring Ring "Hello. Welcome to Zeos, a division of Meos. In an effort to better help you, we would like you to listen carefully to the following menu, in order to better serve our customers this call may be monitored... "If you are using a touch tone phone, please press *1*. If you are NOT using a touch tone phone, forget it." (I Press *1*) "Welcome to Zeos. For our mail order catalogue, press *1*. For our Customer Service, press *2*. For accounts payable, press *3*. For Mindy, press *4*. For Sales, press *5*." (I Press *5* while wondering who Mindy is.) "Welcome to Zeos sales. If you are an institutional buyer, press *1*. For office computer needs, press *2*. For home sales needs, press *3*." (I Press *3*) "Welcome to Zeos home computer sales. For computers, press *1*. For monitors, press *2*. For software, press *3*. For accessories, press *4*." (I Press *4*) "Hello. You have reached Zeos accessories. If you are calling from the Eastern Time zone, press *1*. From the Midwest, press *2*. From the Rocky Mountain time zone, press *3*. From Pacific Time zone, press *4*." (I Press *4*) "Hello. You have reached Zeos Pacific Time zone accessory salesman Bob Bumble. I'm not at my desk at the moment, but if you care to leave a message no my voice mail, please press *1*...." This goes on for the next week, at least. Bob, I suspect, is also lost in the elevator (Press *2*), and I eventually have to pretend I'm a huge institutional buyer just wanting to sample a modem. FINALLY, it's on its way to me.

NOTE: I think a great business could be founded on just contacting these companies that thought it was good business to get rid of the person we used to call a receptionist who knew everyone - and where everyone was, you know, the person back in the cave days of early American business who could put you in touch with real people who were sincerely interested in talking to you and finding out what you needed and helping you get it. What I would do is this for those companies who have modernized in such a Fashion I would go into a meeting with these people and hand them a cellular phone, pass it to the chairman, or CEO, and say, "OK. You call and order something from your company on your advertised number." Of course, the executives all have a private number that is unavailable to us. My prayer is that when some of these decision-makers lose their jobs to falling sales and loss of revenue, they start their job search by calling the job placement agency and get, "Hello, and welcome to Acme Personnel. If you are using a touch tone phone, please press *1* now...."

OK. Now, the modem is on its way. Life is still good and the local store has restocked Marie Calendar. I bond briefly with the FedEx guy, exchange a few pleasantries, and stare at my new modem.

It needs to be installed.

( yes another note in the old days ...Computer Modems were add-ons and about the size of a small suitcase )
Now, next to the phone systems I think SAR (some assembly required) is the next worst blight on American industry. I mean, everyone is complaining about not having enough work for his or her employees to do. OK, then, have them assemble the darn things - I'm kinda funny. I like to take things out of a box, plug them in, and see them work IMMEDIATELY